Have you ever had a book resonate so deeply it felt like the author was speaking directly to you? That was my experience with Shonda Rhimes' transformative work, "Year of YES." Yes, the Shonda Rhimes—the mastermind behind TV hits like Grey’s Anatomy and Scandal, and the unofficial queen of Thursday night television. While she may not know it, her book turned her into my personal mentor. And because she dared to write a book in such an authentic, relatable, girl-next-door way, she is unwittingly, but most definitely my new best friend. Back in 2013, a simple yet profound observation from her sister—"You never say yes to anything"—jolted Shonda into a new reality. This pivotal moment inspired her to start embracing every challenge, from public speeches at Dartmouth to appearances on Jimmy Kimmel Live. It wasn’t just about accepting invitations; it was about engaging fully with life, enhancing her health, and cherishing moments with her children. Witnessing her transformation, I couldn’t help but start my own "Year of Yes." On a chilly January morning, as I packed for a trip to Chicago—Shonda’s hometown—I decided to challenge myself to embrace "yes" at every turn. This wasn't just about mimicking her—it was about redefining my own life’s narrative from passive to active. It began with waking up early, which led to discovering an inspiring podcast on life's purpose. The day continued with a profound interaction with my shuttle driver, whose resilience and gratitude were so compelling, it felt like he walked right out of a novel. He even gifted me an umbrella as a keepsake, a simple act that felt deeply significant. The journey didn’t stop there. Choosing to listen more than I spoke, I uncovered my Uber driver's harrowing escape from a war-torn country to the hopeful avenues of Chicago. Spontaneity led me to the box office of "Hamilton," where I snagged a last-minute ticket to the sold-out show—an exhilarating testament to the power of "yes." The Power of Yes: A New Way of Living This newfound perspective wasn't confined to grand gestures; it permeated my daily decisions. It found me saying yes to decluttering, embracing strategic naps, and tackling dreaded projects. I even found myself saying yes to green kale drinks, a testament to my commitment to health, no matter the taste. But saying yes goes beyond personal benefit—it creates ripples that affect everyone around us. Friends and clients alike have adopted this mindset, discovering their own superpowers in saying yes to life's little and large moments. Saying yes can be our own personal 3-lettered superpower. Shonda’s online network encouraged her to “power pose like superwoman” when she needed courage. “Power posing like Wonder Woman is when you stand up like a badass—legs in a wide stance, chin up, hands on your hips. Like you own the place. Like you have on magical silver bracelets and know how to use them. Like your superhero cape is flapping in the wind behind you.” That’s some potent life advice. Go ahead. Assume your power pose and complete this sentence… This year I will say yes to__________________________. According to my new BFF, “every yes will change something in you. Every yes is a transformation. Every yes sparks some new phase of evolution.“ This year, I invite you to join me. Say yes to something that scares you, something new, something transformative. What will you say yes to this year? I’m eager to hear how your journey unfolds as you embrace your inner superhero through the simple, yet powerful act of saying yes. Are you on social media? Come say Hi on Linkedin, Facebook and/or Instagram!

Here I sit, suspended between Christmas and the New Year, in this reflective week I always love. Like many, you may find yourself looking backward to inform how you want to move forward with New Year's resolutions. The holiday season, bridging the end of one year and the beginning of another, is a reflective time that often inspires us to connect more deeply with those around us. I didn’t have to reach too far back to find fuel for my first resolution of the new year. I’ve been recalling my recent holiday interactions with family and friends in particular. The Impact of Asking "How Are You" In some cases, I’ve spent long stretches of time with some of them and the feeling of true connection was missing. In other cases, a quick breakfast or phone call yielded that warm glow that Hallmark reminds us we should feel at this time of year. What made the difference between the two situations? It often boiled down to one thing—which exchanges made me feel seen and cared about. In a world where life can be far too complicated, I look for simplicity. So the simple fact is I felt more connected and cared for when others asked “how are you?” and truly cared to know. In which exchanges did we really wonder with sincere interest about the other?  And who asked simply as an entire for telling me all about how THEY are…or asked but didn’t really listen to my reply–both the words and the emotions.  And where was I guilty of the same? Key Insights for Fostering Genuine Interactions Implementing effective communication strategies can transform your interactions into more meaningful connections. Here are some tips to help you enhance your conversations during the holidays and all year round. Be Sincere: Ask "how are you?" with genuine interest. Showing genuine interest in how others are feeling can dramatically enhance interpersonal connections. Active Listening: Pay attention to both words and emotions. Listening attentively to responses shows that you value the other person beyond mere courtesy. Show Empathy: Respond with understanding and care. This approach can significantly enhance your relationships, much like embracing new opportunities can lead to transformational change. Using Emotional Intelligence in Leadership This phenomenon isn’t limited to the holidays or our personal lives. These strategies are not only beneficial in personal interactions but are equally important in professional growth. All year long, I work with leaders who want to know how to make a difference, how to connect with staff, keep their fingers on the pulse of the organization, boost morale, gain respect, reduce turnover, and communicate value. It seems to me all of that could be helped along by one question in the new year—“how are you?” –delivered sincerely and followed up by deep listening–the kind of listening that would have you pass the hypothetical pop quiz about their answer. Effective Leadership Tips for Deeper Connections Here’s how leaders can use simple words to make a big impact: Consistent Engagement: Regular, sincere inquiries about well-being can significantly impact team dynamics. Empathetic Leadership: Showing empathy and understanding in your responses fosters trust and respect. Follow-through on Details: Remembering and acting upon what you learn about others shows that you value them genuinely. Power of Simple 3 Words! So as you utter the three words that usher in the Times Square ball drop—“happy new year!”—consider following them up with three other words—“how are you?”—and then just listen. Their answers may shift from “fine” to something more telling. With this resolution enacted, we’ll be on our way to being more impactful leaders, friends, and family members. Have you experienced a change in your relationships by using these small words with big impact? For more insights on fostering genuine connections, check out our communication strategies and leadership tips.

As an under-confident and self-conscious teenager, I declined my parents’ offer to set me up with braces. Or if I’m more honest, I outright refused. I couldn’t bear the idea of having a metal smile adding to my self-image issues. I just wasn’t ready. I preferred my overbite. So, in my late 20’s I made the move. I encased my teeth in the barbed wire called braces, took on the pain of the metal–and the pain of the expense. Two years later, those wires produced the smile I always wanted and a partner! They came off right before a major turning point in my life—my wedding day. In the same way I thought my marriage would last, I also thought my perfect and beautiful smile would as well. I was wrong on both counts. My life shifted and evidently so did my teeth. My dentist confirmed it—my bite was off again, teeth were jostling for position in my mouth, and they would continue down this path unless I did something about it. I was “out of alignment” and this called for action. Invisalign seemed to be the answer. If you don’t know what Invisalign is, imagine wearing a mouth guard fitted just for you that you wear for 6 weeks at a time and continually replace over a period of months or years. It’s made of a clear plastic-like substance and snaps in and out of your mouth easily. (I think of them as my pre-dentures.) You’re required to wear them 22 hours a day, taking them out only long enough to eat, brush, and reinsert. Admittedly, I was not in love with them the first week. But I did love the name…Invisalign. I was embarking on an invisible alignment. I felt both proud and uncomfortable. Here’s what my Invisalign reminded me about change and the need to get realigned. Staying Aligned Requires Constant Care and Action I thought I had this handled a long time ago. I had done this already—this working on the teeth thing. Checked the box. Ya mean I had to do it again? Yes, the changes we need to make aren’t necessarily one-and-done. Unless, I wanted my teeth to regress, I needed to take new action. It’s not an excruciating pain but a dull ache. It’s tolerable and necessary, but uncomfortable. Slowly, my tongue adjusted to the foreign plastic edges encroaching on its space. The grip of the mouthpiece felt more like a hug than a strangle-hold. My lips made way for this intruder. My temporary lisp eventually subsided, and I’m reminded that the hardest part is committing to change. It got easier with time. Changes Take Longer Than We Think Dr. Vila/Carlos—my friend and dentist rolled up in one—read the treatment plan. “You should be done in 6 months, but” he added, “expect it to take longer.” Transitions take time, and we can’t always foresee exactly how much time. We simply get on with them and let the process unfold. I could no longer unconsciously pop something into my mouth. I needed to remove the Invisalign trays first, rinse them, set them aside, eat, brush, and re-insert. So I was forced to weigh each eating and drinking choice. Is it worth it? Do I need this snack? This change was overriding my auto-pilot for eating whatever I want whenever I want. I’m thinking more, but eating less and brushing more. Sometimes one change leads to other positive changes. Our Misalignment May Be Invisible to Others, but We Know We Need Help People say they didn’t notice my teeth shifting. They’re either being polite, or it wasn’t obvious yet. Either way, I knew things were out of alignment. We are the ones who know what we most need and when we are out of alignment. Fortunately, many realignments can be subtle, through means invisible to others. Just when I got comfortable wearing one Invisalign tray, it was time to get another one and begin a new adjustment period. It’s necessary in order for things to keep moving in the right direction. Over time, I was ready to graduate to a retainer. This cycle of discomfort to comfort and back to discomfort is how we improve over a lifetime. It Ultimately Yields Favorable Results It’s important to take the long view. Times of change, realignment, and discomfort often signal something big and new around the corner that we’re getting ready for. In my case, I can picture and feel my realigned smile. And I feel other shifts in my work and life happening that are quite exciting as well.

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Brenda Reynolds, founder of BKR Consulting Inc., specializes in transforming complex situations that require compassionate imaginative results-oriented intervention. To see this working, head to your live site. All Posts My Posts Login / Sign up Coming TOGETHER Member Portal Subscribe to Coming TOGETHER Member Portal If you’ve not already got an account, subscribe to a plan. Log In See Plans Forum - Frameless

Document your hops, hopes, leaps, and laments here in this safe space on the road to resilience and crowning a more expanded, royal version of yourself. 5 FROGS ® TRANSFORMATION JOURNAL REFLECTIONS ON THE ROAD TO RESILENCE Life doesn't always go as planned. Even welcome changes can be challenging. FROGS is an acronym for the spaces we jump between in the face of a change or a disorienting life event. This journal guides you through your 5 FROGS ® transformation journey on the road to greater resilience. Document your hops, hopes, leaps, and laments here in this safe space on the road to resilience and crowning a more expanded, royal version of yourself. GET YOURS NOW MAKING THE LEAP FROM "NOW WHAT?" TO "WHY NOT?!" The 5 FROGS ® Transformation Journal—a powerful tool designed to guide you through your transformation journey towards greater resilience. It's here to help you navigate those murky waters with grace, courage, and a touch of froggy wisdom. FROGS is an acronym for the spaces we jump between in the face of a change or a disorienting life event. My own unexpected life shift as well as my work with leaders and organizations showed me this pattern. F: FREAKING OUT. Life as I’d known it had fallen apart. I was at a fork-in-the-road. I was freaking out and wanted it to fall back together asap. R: REFLECTING AND RESPONSIBILITY. As I took on new responsibilities as a single mom and provider, I reflected on one key question—now what? How was I going to manage this disorienting event, what was my responsibility in getting here, and what choices would I need to make now? O: Over time, I was slowly but surely OVERCOMING OBSTACLES . G: GROWING . Despite myself and my circumstances, I was GROWING—in small and big ways. S: SOVEREIGN SELF . And here’s the thing—none of the growth had to do with a prince. There was no magical kiss or crown—just me, crowning a royal, more resilient version of myself—a stronger, evolved, expanded, transformed version of myself. BUY NOW Any journey through uncertain terrain and challenging times requires a map. Brenda's 5 FROGS ® model offers a trusted guide to navigating change. Even more, her process and these journaling practices will help you trust yourself as you grow into who you are becoming. - Ken Beldon, LSW, Psychotherapist serving individuals and couples ABOUT THE AUTHOR Brenda Reynolds is an inspiring change agent who has helped leaders, organizations, teams and individuals turn their "Now what?" challenges into "Why Not?!" possibilities for over twenty years. She was inspired to write TBD--To Be Determined: Leading with Clarity and Confidence when her own life went sideways in 2008, and she had to navigate her own uncertain times. When she realized she drew upon many of the skills she uses in her consulting work, she was inspired to share them with others. TBD blends professional case study examples with personal anecdotes and stories, making the concepts and strategies applicable for the workplace and the life space! Brenda's newest Amazon Bestseller is The 5 FROGS ® Transformation Journal . It is a resource and tool for anyone navigating change and wanting to find more clarity and resilience. FROGS is an acronym for the spaces we jump between in the face of a change. Authored with a heartfelt blend of wisdom and creativity, this journal is an intimate companion on the journey toward resilience. With thought-provoking prompts and inspiring quotes scattered throughout, it gently nudges its owner to reflect on challenges and find ways to overcome them with courage and resilience. It's a great tool for navigating personal or workplace changes, and supporting employee health and wellness! MORE ABOUT BRENDA